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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25071604">Where linger the undesired</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PollyDarton/pseuds/PollyDarton'>PollyDarton</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marauders, Masturbation, One Shot, Oral Sex, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Porn with a little bit o'plot, Romance, a bit of angst, wolfstar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:40:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,312</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25071604</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PollyDarton/pseuds/PollyDarton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After twelve years of hurt and one year of healing Sirius and Remus finally reach a new start. After the events of Goblet of Fire.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where linger the undesired</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A bit inspired by this (https://upthehillart.tumblr.com/post/187027366805/tired-lonely-nights-at-12-grimmauld-place) amazing fanart.<br/>--<br/>Relevant canon information: Sirius didn't trust Remus and that's why he chose Peter to be the secret keeper for the Potters.<br/>--<br/>Lots of feelings.<br/>Enjoy some sad sexy times!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>1995</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, this is where you grew up.” Remus stood up from the chair and walked up to the sink carrying the piled plates.</p>
<p>Sirius nodded, “Now you know why I was so eager to leave.” He drank the rest of the fire whiskey in his glass.</p>
<p>“Your mother seems lovely.” Remus smiled from the corner of his mouth and glanced at Sirius as he waved his wand and the dishes started washing themselves.</p>
<p>“My favorite part.” Sirius raised his empty glass and gave a half-smile as he set it on top of the table.</p>
<p>Sirius was looking a lot better than last time Remus had seen him. His hair was shorter and almost had the same shine it used to back in school days. He was still thinner than he used to, but didn’t resemble a skeleton as much. His features, on the other hand, maybe would never go back to what they were and his eyes had a sort of shadow over them, that Remus could guess the origin of.</p>
<p>Remus, on the other hand, was looking worse than last time they’d met, with his greying hair and patched up robes. His face looked aged, but he still resembled his younger self when he smiled. He also had a shadow on his eyes, and it made Sirius’ gut twist with guilt every time it became prominent.</p>
<p>The last guest had just closed the door as they left number 12, Grimmauld Place, and they were left alone for the first time in almost a year. They hadn’t exactly left in the friendliest of therms when they parted after Remus left his position at Hogwarts, and Sirius went south for cover. Or maybe they left in the friendliest manner possible, considering what they’d gone through.</p>
<p>Old wounds still lingered in the air above them, not allowing for the warm reunion they longed for but weren’t really ready for. It made the atmosphere heavy, even if they didn’t have anything else to say or settle. All cards had been played, and all there was left to do was move on, impossible as it was to go back to the way things were when they were teens.</p>
<p>Remus waved his wand again and their glasses filled with more fire whiskey as he went back to the table and sat across from the other, “How does it feel to be back in action?” He took a sip from his glass and watched as Sirius leant on the back legs of his chair.</p>
<p>“I’m not really back in action, am I?” Sirius couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice and the frown from his lips, “Still a fugitive accused of mass murder.”</p>
<p>“Welcome to the pariah’s club.” It was Remus’ turn to raise his glass. “Where linger the undesired.”</p>
<p>“You seem very excited.” Sirius drank half of the drink in his glass.</p>
<p>“Gives me something to think about.” Remus didn’t feel like telling that what was coming as excitement was actually nervousness “You sure it’s ok for me to stay here?”</p>
<p>“Sure. There’s lots of rooms and Kreacher will be delighted to have someone to cuss at.” Sirius emptied the glass into his mouth and swallowed grimacing a little.</p>
<p>“Where is he, by the way?”</p>
<p>“Walburga’s room probably.” Sirius set the glass back down and, when Remus finished his own glass. stood up, “Let’s find you a room.” He grabbed Remus’ suitcase that was left by the door and left the kitchen leading the way upstairs.</p>
<p>Mrs. Black whispered nastily as they passed by the corridor on their way to the higher levels and Sirius fidgeted nervously in a way that made Remus want to hold his hand. He didn’t, instead shoving his hands into his pockets and following the other quietly.</p>
<p>“This was Regulus’ room.” Sirius ran the tips of his fingers over the nameplate on the door, but didn’t stop to look inside or made further comments, “And this is my old room.” He held the door opened and followed in after the other.</p>
<p>Remus couldn’t hold his laughter when he took in the gold and red that decorated the room, “Somehow, it looks exactly the way I thought it would.” He turned, amused, to look at Sirius who still stood by the door, but had a shadow of smile on his lips. “You honor your fame.” “He moved closer to the wall to look at the pictures that were glued there.</p>
<p>Sirius at last entered the room and followed Remus toward the pictures on the wall, “Of mass murderer?” He saw himself and James smiling on the Hogwarts Express and his chest tightened.</p>
<p>Remus turned to give his snarky response, but lost his voice when he saw Sirius so close and with that look in his eyes. His fingers itched to touch him, so he turned around and let them move and touch lightly Sirius’ hand. “I know how hard it is for you.” He said softly.</p>
<p>Sirius didn’t respond with words, instead settling for watching as he intertwined his fingers with Remus’. The feeling of their hands touching, even in such a light way, was so familiar that it sent a chain reaction like shockwaves through their bodies.</p>
<p>Sirius raised his eyes and looked at Remus’ face, so close to his own, and the familiar color of his eyes almost sent tears into his own. “Moony...” He didn’t really know what he wanted to say, he just craved for something he knew only Remus was capable of providing.</p>
<p>“I know.” Was all Remus could come up with as the familiar nickname flooded him with something he had been sure he would never feel again.</p>
<p>They stood just looking at each other until Sirius looked away and at the wall again, and the hopelessness sent Remus forward until their bodies were touching and his arms were around Sirius’ waist.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to say.” Sirius said against his shoulder with his hands touching Remus’ back.</p>
<p>Remus sighed, “There’s nothing to say.” The dark hair felt nice against his face and Sirius’ body felt right in his arms.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Sirius said anyway.</p>
<p>Remus heart sped up as he realized: “I forgive you.”</p>
<p>Sirius pulled away and pushed the hair away from Remus’ face, searching for something to hold on to. Remus wanted to wash away the darkness that loomed around the other with reassuring words, but instead touched his face with both his hands and ran his thumbs over his cheeks.</p>
<p>Sirius took hold of Remus’ hand again and went to sit on the foot of the bed, keeping his arm outstretched as a sign for the other to do the same. As Remus sat by his side, Sirius started fidgeting with his fingers still held in his hand, keeping his eyes fixed on his own movements.</p>
<p>Remus took a breath and leant in, touching Sirius’ lips with his own very lightly while the fingers of his free hand went up to touch his face again. He licked his lips as Sirius tilted his head towards his touch and closed his eyes when he leant forward to kiss him again, his hand touching Remus’ elbow.</p>
<p>The kiss was shy and temptive as were their touches on each other. Their heartbeats sped as their bodies recognized each other, and they moved closer, their knees touching and their grip on each other’s hand tightening.</p>
<p>Remus moved his hand and laced his fingers in Sirius’ hair, feeling his body heat up as he deepened the kiss, their mouths fitting perfectly.</p>
<p>Sirius pulled away and had to catch his breath as he took in the darkness in Remus’ eyes, “Will you stay the night?”</p>
<p>The words sent a familiar pull to Remus’ gut, “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Ok” Remus nodded and licked his lips as Sirius moved to lie on the bed.</p>
<p>Sirius motioned for Remus to follow and watched as he did so, lying by his side facing him. Remus touched his shoulder and leant in to kiss him again, and when Sirius responded he put his hand under his shirt, touching his stomach before landing on his chest, feeling his heartbeat under his palm.</p>
<p>As heat engulfed him, Sirius lied on his back and pulled Remus to lie on top of him, kissing him again, hard and desperate as he felt himself getting hard against the other’s thigh between his legs.</p>
<p>Remus felt the world spin as he touched Sirius over his pants and was able to feel the warmth of his hardness through the fabric as Sirius lost his breath at the touch. </p>
<p>“It’s been a while for me, so this might go really fast.” Sirius leant his head back into the pillow.</p>
<p>“It’s ok.”Remus smiled and kissed his jaw, still touching him over his pants and pressing his own hard-on against Sirius’ thigh.</p>
<p>Sirius couldn’t keep the words from leaving his lips, “Have you been with anyone else?”</p>
<p>Remus was expecting a question of the sort and had his answer ready: “Is there really an answer to that that would sooth you in any way?”</p>
<p>Sirius took a moment to think about the possible answers – that Remus had been with someone else in his absence, or that he had spent the last twelve years on his own – and realized: “Not really.”</p>
<p>To what Remus responded lightly: “There you are then.” The answer was no, but he had more pressing matters on his hands than the time he spent alone.</p>
<p>Remus kissed Sirius jaw and then his neck, breathing him in and rejoicing at feeling of Sirius in the air surrounding him again. He opened Sirius’ pants and put his hand inside, moving it over his dick and down to his balls before moving back up and wrapping his fingers around the hardened warm flesh. He moved his hand along the length, his lips still close to his pulse, as he felt Sirius’ chest rise and fall under him.</p>
<p>“Do you have any lube?” Sirius blurted out suddenly.</p>
<p>“No.” Remus raises his head to look at him, his hand still stroking him light and slow.</p>
<p>Sirius licked his lips and lifted his head to look at the other, “We’ve done it without it before.” He ran his hands over Remus’ back, pulling his shirt up as his fingers felt the raised skin of both familiar and new scars.</p>
<p>Remus shook his head and kissed him again before lifting his shirt and kissing the center of his chest. He moved over to start licking at a nipple as he placed his fingers under the hem of Sirius’ pants, pushing them down as he raised his hips. Remus moved down his body, kissing and licking at the skin while letting Sirius pull his shirt up his body and over his head.</p>
<p>Remus grabbed hold of Sirius’ dick again and licked a the head, feeling the length hard and warm in his hand. He placed the head between his lips and licked at it again before sliding it further into his mouth, his own cock twitching at Sirius’ moan. He went all the way down on him, until the head lodged at the back of is mouth making Sirius curse and grab his hair. Remus moaned and drool ran down the length as he moved his head up, licking and sucking, and then down again, slowly, reveling in the taste, the scent and the sounds coming from the other.</p>
<p>Sirius thrust his hips forward, and he felt that he could come from the sound of Remus’ moan alone, but he watched as his prick went up and into those pretty lips, Remus’ nose touching his belly with pink coloring his cheeks as drool pooled at the base. He felt hungry for the other, and felt jealous that Remus was fulfilling his own hunger while all he could do was grab at his hair as sweet agony sent his hips forward.</p>
<p>Remus put his arms under Sirius’ thighs and pulled his legs over his shoulder, gripping at the flesh as he swallowed and frowned as Sirius came down his throat, with his back arched and his mouth opened in a beautiful silent scream.</p>
<p>Sirius pulled him up  and undid his pants, impatiently pushing them down and away from his legs. Once done with the clothes, he pulled Remus to straddle him and then sat up, with Remus hot on his lap as his dick pointed at the ceiling.</p>
<p>Sirius spit on his palm and lathered it on the head of Remus’ cock, making it wet before he started jerking him off. He ran his free hand down his back and grabbed a handful of the supple flesh of his ass as he kissed and licked at his nipple, feeling Remus’ prick twitch in his hand as he sucked his stomach in and his chest heaved.</p>
<p>Remus swore and dug his nails into Sirius’ shoulders as he felt his orgasm hit, then he was canting his hips and coming all the up to his chest.</p>
<p>They stayed in the same position breathing hard for a moment, Remus touching Sirius’ neck and Sirius’ hands on Remus’ hips, their foreheads resting against each other with a glint of an old sparkle in their eyes.</p>
<p>At last, Remus had to stand up to grab his wand from his pants, and swayed it to clean up any mess before lying down next to Sirius and pulling the blankets over them. “Is this house always this cold?”</p>
<p>“Always.” Sirius grumbled and threw his leg over Remus’ middle, pulling him close.</p>
<p>Under the blankets they felt warm and secure in a way they hadn’t in ages, and as they closed their eyes and kissed lazyly they could almost pretend they were 18 again and the war they were fighting was still an old one.</p>
<p>~~</p>
<p>Thanks for reading!</p>
<p>if you liked it, please comment!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I tried to come up with an original title for once, and not just something from a song, and I know it sucks, but I’ll try to get over it and I hope you can do the same.<br/>This is the first story I took more than a few frenzied hours to write so there’s a possibility (gasp) that it’s actually well written???</p></blockquote></div></div>
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